My second pregnancy has felt nothing like the first one. Nothing more so than the first trimester. Anxiety has been at very high levels since the very beginning and bodily sensations were all over the place, resembling more my first third trimester. The world upside down, and then some more. 

All websites on pregnancy, what to expect and week-by-week progress, have these very long lists of possible pregnancy symptoms that one may experience. In my first pregnancy, the first trimester was hardly out of the ordinary, aside from some nausea around noon, for a couple of weeks, that I washed away with some Schweppes. This time around, I felt more like the women those websites seem to be addressing. 

The very first weeks were incredibly uncomfortable. Itchiness and stinginess all around my intimate area, pelvic and anal were annoying, making me feel very irritable and edgy and probably contributed to an increased anxiety. 

Vaginal thrush

I had experienced a very mild episode of vaginal thrush immediately after the birth of my son, but it had all subsided with one or two applications of balm. What I felt now was plainly unbearable. It was itchy to the point it gave me spasms and made me jump up and want to scratch the hell out of it. This happened immediately after implantation, so very early on in pregnancy. My GP prescribed a vaginal cream and it took around a week to completely go away. It came back once more just before the end of the first trimester, but quickly subsided with cream. 

Piles/haemorrhoids

I call them “my friends”. During the third trimester of my first pregnancy, I got myself three “friends”: two rather big ones and a tiny one. All external piles gathered together around my anus. Never painful or stinging, only itchy during pregnancy. They generally kept the same size they had before the birth and never bothered me since. Until now, that is. 

A new, tiny one came out after conception. It stung and hurt for a few days. What a nuisance that was! It has stung ever since. Added to that, from the very beginning, the entire anal area has been itchy. Internal piles have also been constant, as proven by regular traces of blood after stools come out. It did not help that despite my best efforts to manage it from diet, water intake and exercise, I was constipated. However, only the bleeding from the internal piles subsided when I had an easy time passing stool. I gave up putting cream on pretty quickly. Although I feel itchy every day, it is not all the time, but rather some moments, usually in the evening. Sometimes I give in, sometimes I manage to breathe it away. 

Anxiety

In retrospect, my first pregnancy felt like a breeze. It seems to me we were very relaxed, oblivious and maybe a little unconscious, too. Not to say this was a bad thing. It just made the contrast to how we navigated the second pregnancy all the more starker and evident. Understandably, I believe, given the difficult history of this pregnancy and my age (39), I, we have been more anxious, worrying more. 

Anxiety in the first weeks was around the impossibility to get a quick appointment with my gynae, who happened to be away for a few weeks. With my history of ectopic pregnancy, I had been advised to confirm early on the pregnancy was fixed inside the uterus. I had scheduled an appointment with his back-up at seven weeks, so I tried to relax, but could not shake off a feeling of impatience and urgency. 

I could not really be happy and hopeful about the pregnancy without this first confirmation. If it was ectopic, there was a good chance I could lose my remaining tube and with it all chance of conceiving naturally. Could we be that unlucky? 

A week before the appointment I started feeling mild cramps in the lower abdomen, much like my usual pre-menstrual cramps. I thought it was weird, because I felt them more on the right side, the one without a fallopian tube. No idea if there is or should be any connection. I felt them for a couple of days. Suddenly, they were with me constantly all day long. It felt like (autosuggestion, maybe?) they were radiating in my lower back and down my legs at times. I got worried. Then I started noticing some light brownish traces after peeing, once, twice, three times, every time I went to the toilet, and I became more and more worried. 

The following day, six weeks into the pregnancy, I had a first look at my baby. I heard the heartbeat for the first time and confirmed it was in the right place, inside the uterus, on the ER ultrasound machine. All was fine. The urine test came back normal I got this one ultrasound image that I showed my husband who was waiting for me outside. He had not been allowed to accompany me in the ER because of COVID-19 restrictions. What a relief! And what a surprise to hear the baby’s heartbeat so early on! I had not expected that. It was so alert..

The nurses in the ER did not seem impressed, advising me next time to call the ER beforehand. There was nothing particularly worrying in my story. Apparently, if it was not bloody red, there was no reason for concern. The kind, smiling gynae that handled the ultrasound looked equally relaxed about it all. 

Once the ultrasound at six weeks and then the medical check-up at seven weeks confirmed all was in order, I started counting down to week 12-13 and the end of the first trimester. I kept reading about signs of miscarriage and all the things that could go wrong. I would not get rid completely of the anxiety around something potentially going wrong thereafter either. 

Initially, I told only one friend about the pregnancy, immediately after seeing the positive test. Just to have someone to talk about this in case it all went terribly wrong. Around 8 weeks in, I told my mom and dad. It was my mom’s birthday, so it felt like a good moment to share something like this. We told everyone else around week 14, when we got the pre-natal genetic screening results back. 

Nausea

I experienced nausea differently than in my first pregnancy. Still mild; I never actually vomited, nor did it incapacitat me in any way, but a nuisance nonetheless. A nagging sensation that accompanied me between weeks 6 and 12, randomly coming and going at any time of day or night. Plus, I felt hungry all the time; that feeling of having a hole in my stomach that I needed to fill NOW, URGENTLY, or else I could pass through a wall :D. 

Frequent peeing

Very much like in the last trimester of my first pregnancy, I felt the urge to pee frequently. It was particularly annoying at night. I was already having trouble falling asleep to start with. I lay with my eyes wiiide open, impossible to close them, until they did. Once I was up and back from the toilet, I was back to square one and it could take me up to two-three hours to fall back asleep. Luckily, my boys let me sleep as much as possible in the morning.

Tiredness

This only further intensified my chronic tiredness and irritation during the day. I felt tired all the time, up until weeks 12-13. Particularly during late afternoon, after picking up my little gosling from the nursery, I felt exhausted and irritable. It was a tough period for my relationship with the little gosling. The occasional naps I took, privilege of teleworking during a pandemic, helped me cope better. They made for calmer, more serene afternoons and our relationship was gentler and less bumpy. Daddy stepped in quite a lot, at play and bathtime and was, as always, a tremendous help. Generally, throughout the pregnancy, he’s been most supportive, encouraging me to exercise – without overdoing it – and to get some rest. 

I hardly felt up for any kind of exercise. It felt impossible to keep up the running routine I had started the months before getting pregnant. Whilst I continued going out for my morning walks in the park, more often than not, however, I ended up sitting on a bench, breathless and tired for most of the time I was outside. 

Constipation, bloating, reflux

Constipation, bloating and reflux have been an issue throughout. More than in normal times. I tried to eat as healthily as possible, plenty of veggies and fruits. Some days were better than others. Drinking water was always an issue. I made sure I had extra fiber at hand, just in case I needed to supplement my regular diet. 

Breast tenderness

Breast tenderness was more problematic this time around. More often than not, breastfeeding little gosling felt uncomfortable, sometimes downright painful. This also rendered our relationship difficult. He found it hard to understand my reluctance and irritation, as I ended up limiting his time at the breast or suddenly interrupting it. It often led to tantrums on one side, irritation on the other. 

Nevertheless, I was determined to keep our breastfeeding journey going. I did not want him to feel that he was losing out on account of a new baby coming. Furthermore, I have this strong belief (no idea if it is supported by research or not) that breastfeeding my second one would be easier on my breasts if there is continuity. Maybe avoid some of the early issues with sore, cracked nipples or mastitis or such. We pushed through and adjusted. Only some positions have worked for me. I needed him to face the breast front and center, if we were in an upright position and when lying down, I needed him to be similarly at a 90’ angle, at the same height as my nipple. 

Weight gain/pregnancy bump

I gained around 1,5 kg in the first trimester. Sometime around week 12, I woke up one morning and I had a weird looking bump, very high, just under my breasts. It was visible to me when naked, but could easily remain hidden under a loose shirt. At this stage, I still fit into my normal clothes. Breasts seem to grow bigger from early on, but I was anyway still wearing my breastfeeding bras, so no need to adjust on that account either. 

I had a medical check-up roughly once per month. Not counting the ER ultrasound, I saw the doctor at 7 weeks and then at 12 weeks. Blood pressure checked; cervix checked to make sure it was tightly shut; ultrasound to check the embryo/foetus. We heard the heartbeat every time. Luckily, despite the COVID-19 restrictions, pregnant ladies could be accompanied, so my husband came along to all the appointments. We had made it to the end of the first trimester. All was in order. We were happy. 

My gynae called it a “miracle pregnancy”. Might be because of the little odds he had given me for conceiving naturally with one sub-optimal fallopian tube and a history of ectopic pregnancy, at my age. Might also be because the ultrasound showed that my right ovary (the side missing the fallopian tube) produced the lucky ovule, which was subsequently caught by the left fallopian tube. 

The post My (second) Pregnancy Diary: First Trimester Anxiety and Discomforts appeared first on Mommy Goose Chronicles.

(Morning) Sickness: Not really! Around weeks 4-6 of pregnancy I used to have very light nausea around noontime, but it easily subsided with some sips of Schweppes Bitter Lemon (my mom always keeps a stash for her gin tonics). I vomited once in the first trimester, but I blame it more on the very boring breakfast I had just had that day (the same every morning for approx two months that we spent in the hotel upon arriving in a new country). 

Carpal tunnel syndrome: A tiny bit annoying!  Around weeks 9-13 or so, I used to feel mild pain and numbness in my right hand (thumb, index, little finger, wrist and palm) and for a while I wore an elastic band to control the discomfort. Doctor told me it was a possible manifestation during pregnancy, so I did not look into it any further. It went away as pregnancy progressed and all joints loosened. On that score, pregnancy was actually really great for a lower back/hip pain I had acquired before, that had incapacitated me to sleep on my back or on my belly or to spend more than ten minutes in any seated position that had my bum lower than my knees (i.e. car seat). 

Swollen feet: Yeees, they were so huge! I always battle with swollen feet in hot weather and considering it was summer during my entire pregnancy, not too surprising. It started to become visual after week 21, at which point I started wearing flip-flops everywhere and honestly, spent lots of time barefoot, even at work. It became worse the bigger I grew, but it never passed the threshold of worrisome for my healthcare providers. Swollen was the new normal and made putting my feet up, which I did on every occasion (at work, had put a box under the desk to keep them up) or lying down so much more sweeter. Actually, thinking better about it, during the last months, pretty much all of me was swollen most of the time, apart from a few minutes immediately after waking up.  

Weight gain: Not so bad, could have been much worse! For someone who has been on the chubby side, always concerned about her weight, and with a hypothyroid condition, I am quite satisfied with how I fared. Particularly considering I did not take particular care of what I ate or refrain from anything during pregnancy. The first 6-7 weeks, I actually lost 2 kilos. By the end of the second month, even though my tummy was not visible and I still fit in all my clothes, the shape around the tummy area had started to change. By week 25 or so, I had gained around 5-6 kilos (on top of regaining the two lost) and then I just exploded :))). By the time the baby was born, I added 10 kilos extra. All in all, I gained 16 kilos. I don’t remember feeling particularly heavy or restricted in my movements (using flip-flops definitely contributed positively to this), but visually I was biiiiig. I mean the tummy was biiiiig. Towards the end my face was so very puffy, it looked a bit grotesque :P. 

Nighttime wee: So annoying! Possibly one of the things I disliked the most. I love my sleep and never used to wake up during the night. I hated waking up, going to the bathroom and all as it took me forever to fall back asleep each time. Don’t remember when it started, but towards the end I was maybe waking up two-three times per night just to squeeze some drops, which made it all even more annoying.. 

Uncomfortable sleeping and occasional cramps: Uhuh! For a good part of the pregnancy, I slept only on one side. My husband hugging me from behind and holding a pillow between my thighs and knees helped, but keeping to the same position felt uncomfortable and favored cramps. Cramps woke me up occasionally during the night; sharp pain in the tibia area that brought tears to my eyes. It took willpower to relax and massage it away. 

Reflux and heartburn: Yes, during the last two – three months. Wasn’t serious, just unpleasant. I just chose to live with it, not mind about it. 

Piles/haemorrhoids and constipation: Oufff, yesss :(! They’ve become my intimate friends since week 28 or so. It started with a very itchy pile and it grew into a nice bouquet of at least 4, I would say, of various sizes and placing around the anus. They are the protruding kind that one can only get rid of with surgery. I did not know what it was in the beginning; I was travelling for work and did the whole picture taking with my phone and comparing with images on the internet. My gynae and my GP were not interested in taking a look, just took my word for it and prescribed stuff; told me it was normal, they would get worse until after childbirth, and advised to wait for any surgery I may want to consider until I was done having kids. My God it was itchy in the beginning. The itching was as annoying as they ever got and that was easily solved with an ointment. During the last months of pregnancy, despite my best efforts, I did not manage to avoid constipation, even though we had a healthy diet, ate lots of fibre and drank water. I used laxatives that my gynae prescribed. It was more difficult to accept mentally that there was something alive down there and growing and multiplying and I naively hoped they would still go away by themselves, soon…The idea of them bothered me immensely.  

Stretch marks: Not an issue. I only found out about the possibility they may appear in the last semester and used an oil (quite unfrequently; I still have more than half the bottle). 

Cravings: Not more than before pregnancy. My only two cravings were bretzels (easily satisfied at our supermarket) and the best chocolate covered peanuts I ever tasted (available at the same place, plus at a very convenient store close to work). I hardly ever refused them to myself. 

Pain: I remember when confirming my pregnancy, the doctor prescribed painkillers just in case, telling me not to be brave and take them, as it would be better for both me and the baby. I never needed to use them and until the end I asked myself what was it supposed to ache or hurt.

About childbirth related anxiety I already wrote a dedicated post. 

I did all I could to make my pregnancy as comfortable as possible for myself. I dressed as simply and comfortably I could. Possibly my favourite part of pregnancy is that I could experience it in leggings/short pants and flip-flops. I used to carry with me a pair of flat, loose red sandals (still my favourite ones), for official meetings, but that was the only compromise I made. And nobody minded. Around week 28 I cut my hair very short. I was so tired of taking care of it and keeping my hands in the air under the shower and drying it. It felt like such a nuisance… and it was so hot…

My extraordinary husband helped a lot. It must have been around week 32 when I went home from work and told him that I’d rather not eat than have to cook dinner again. Without a word he took up cooking and he is the main cook in the house now. Not to mention that he drove me to and from work every day for 34 weeks. I was afraid to drive on the right side of the road, particularly a rented car and with manual transmission the first three months; then, I was too big and he offered to continue.

The post My Pregnancy: Nuisances and the Better Highlights appeared first on Mommy Goose Chronicles.